Confession number 1. Sometimes I don't brush my teeth until right before Chris gets home. There have been many times I've seen him driving up and I run to the bathroom and brush...it's that close. In other news, we are thinking of getting rid of our dental insurance. Nice!
Confession number 2. Laundry :( Chris doesn't mind doing the laundry, which is nice, but I am usually left with the folding part. I hate the folding part. As we speak, there are two baskets of laundry sitting in our bedroom, unfolded. We did the laundry Saturday.
Confession number 3. Before I got pregnant, I loved cleaning. I would deep clean the house regularly. I wouldn't stand for dishes to sit in the sink. My closet with organized by color and my jeans and sweaters perfectly folded. When I did fold clothes, I folded them so perfectly that I wouldn't let Chris help because he "did it wrong". I washed our sheets every other week and our pillowcases every week. I was on top of it! My standards have plummeted to non-existant now. I put off cleaning the bathtub way too long. I rarely make our bed any more. The dishes pile up. The dust bunnies take over our floors.
Confession number 4. Since having Lily, I take forever to fall asleep, but once I'm asleep I sleep like a rock. I have the craziest and most realistic dreams. One night about 3 months ago, I was having a dream about peeing. Lily was crying and I woke up and realized that I wasn't dreaming...I actually peed the bed!! I told Chris about it and we laughed so hard. I was totally embarassed that I would do that and a bit concerned that I had lost all bladder control, but to my relief, it was a one night thing.
Confession number 5. I watch America's Funniest Home Videos and The Cosby Show every afternoon while Lily is napping. To my credit, we don't have cable so I would probably choose something else if we did, but these are the shows that are on. But, still, I choose to watch them. And I laugh at the stupid videos of dads getting hit in the crotch by their kids. It's still funny...it is!
Confession number 6. I've let Lily watch AFV with me before. Literally laid with her on the couch and watched the whole episode. Am I a bad mom?
Confession number 7. Most nights I don't cook. We don't have a dishwasher or I would...I think. We eat Chickfila at least once a week and sometimes more. I don't do fast food, so Chickfila is the only place I will eat.
Confession number 8. Sometimes I sleep in the shirt I was wearing all day and maybe once or twice I also wore that same shirt the whole next day. I know, I'm disgusting.
Confession number 9. Every day I get up with Lily at 8am and then we both take a nap from 9:15ish to 11am. But, in my defense, I have to stay up to feed her at 11pm, so...that's a good reason, right?
Confession number 10. Almost every day I turn on Beyonce really loud and dance and sing "Single Ladies" or "Bootylicious" to Lily. I've even turned on the Single Ladies video on youtube and tried to mimic the dance. She loves it!!
So...what are your confessions? This is a safe place ;)
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Before I had Lily, I worried about what kind of mom I would be. I prayed about it on my best days, but feared and even cried over it on my worst days. Being a mother to a daughter is something I feared I wouldn't do well. To look at myself and see so much I didn't want my daughter to carry with her was terrifying. It wasn't until I held her in my arms that I understood that it wasn't about me, but it was about the Lord and His desire to display His love for me through her. I really see a glimpse of God when I look into Lily's eyes. I have a new perspective on how much God loves me as I try to comprehend the amazing love I feel for Lillian.
There are new developments on the Lily front now that she is 6 months. She is now sitting up on her own! She started sitting up on Mother's day. She also has begun eating solids. She has had rice cereal and sweet potatoes. Tomorrow, she is having butternut squash. We are making all her baby food fresh at home, and it is so easy and so inexpensive!! She has been a great eater, except these last few days. She has begun locking her jaw or spitting the food out by blowing raspberries with food in her mouth...lovely! We are working on it, though. She still naps 3 times a day, but now she naps at 9, 12, and 3:30. She has been wanting to go to bed earlier, so she goes to bed around 7:15pm. Her new favorite thing is to growl. Not really sure how to describe it in writing, but she has this distinct noise she likes to make and draws lots of attention. She even does it while she is eating. We haven't put her in the nursery at church yet, but I think her time is coming. The last two times at church, she has made quite a few fans with her huge smiles and giggles and growls (?). Needless to say, I believe she will be visiting the nursery very soon.
My sweet girl, I've been thinking a lot about the years ahead of us. I want you to know that I love you now and I will love you throughout the years the Lord gives me with you. I will love you when you are sweet and when you are naughty. I will love you when potty training takes a long time. And when you cut your own hair. When you scream and cry and thrown fits in public, I will love you. I will love you when you say you hate me. And when you only want to be around your friends. I will love you when you put on mascara and lipstick behind my back. And when you call boys and find their attention more appealing than mine. I will love you when you struggle with life's big issues. I will always love you.