Before I had Lily, I worried about what kind of mom I would be. I prayed about it on my best days, but feared and even cried over it on my worst days. Being a mother to a daughter is something I feared I wouldn't do well. To look at myself and see so much I didn't want my daughter to carry with her was terrifying. It wasn't until I held her in my arms that I understood that it wasn't about me, but it was about the Lord and His desire to display His love for me through her. I really see a glimpse of God when I look into Lily's eyes. I have a new perspective on how much God loves me as I try to comprehend the amazing love I feel for Lillian.
There are new developments on the Lily front now that she is 6 months. She is now sitting up on her own! She started sitting up on Mother's day. She also has begun eating solids. She has had rice cereal and sweet potatoes. Tomorrow, she is having butternut squash. We are making all her baby food fresh at home, and it is so easy and so inexpensive!! She has been a great eater, except these last few days. She has begun locking her jaw or spitting the food out by blowing raspberries with food in her mouth...lovely! We are working on it, though. She still naps 3 times a day, but now she naps at 9, 12, and 3:30. She has been wanting to go to bed earlier, so she goes to bed around 7:15pm. Her new favorite thing is to growl. Not really sure how to describe it in writing, but she has this distinct noise she likes to make and draws lots of attention. She even does it while she is eating. We haven't put her in the nursery at church yet, but I think her time is coming. The last two times at church, she has made quite a few fans with her huge smiles and giggles and growls (?). Needless to say, I believe she will be visiting the nursery very soon.
My sweet girl, I've been thinking a lot about the years ahead of us. I want you to know that I love you now and I will love you throughout the years the Lord gives me with you. I will love you when you are sweet and when you are naughty. I will love you when potty training takes a long time. And when you cut your own hair. When you scream and cry and thrown fits in public, I will love you. I will love you when you say you hate me. And when you only want to be around your friends. I will love you when you put on mascara and lipstick behind my back. And when you call boys and find their attention more appealing than mine. I will love you when you struggle with life's big issues. I will always love you.