Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Is the Room Spinning or is it Just Me?

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Um...could you repeat that again. Trust?? Even now, trust? I'm having an awful time with this whole trusting thing. Chris and I have entered a time of serious trial. We are being forced, by God's loving hand, to trust Him. I could make a long list of all the things going on in our lives right now, but just know that there is a lot going on.

I find myself so bound up in this worry and this trial that I feel so incredibly lost in what the Lord is wanting for me to see in it. I'm spinning, spinning, spinning. So dizzy that once the spinning stops I am suppose to see the Lord and what He has for me??? I just can't make Him out right now. Everything I see is blurry and very distorted. I know He is there, but I just can't see Him.

All I have to cling to is the fact that He desires our trust in Him. Not only does He desire it, but He commands it. But the command is followed by a promise that He will make my paths straight. In my dizziness, He will whisper, "Precious Daughter, I am here...Take my hand...Close your eyes and follow me. I know the way." And with His gentle guidence, my paths are made straight.

Proverbs goes on to say "it will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones". Not only will the Lord make my paths straight, He will give me healing so that these times are not a detriment, but make my heart and faith stronger than before this trial. I cling to this, knowing and believing God's merciful promise to me.

Oh Father. as I sit here still spinning from this trial, I know you are near. Thank you for your constant wisdom...your presence that doesn't necessarily stop the spinning, but causes me to reach out for your help. Relying on only you. This reliance isn't as joyful in the process. However, I trust You. I believe You are good and that You do good. I believe that You love me and therefore discipline me. You draw my roots further and further down, breaking hardened earth and pushing back dirt lacking proper nutrients. You beckon me deeper to rich, fertile soil that I may be an oak of righteousness, a planting for the display of Your splendor. Lord, sustain me in the growing, in the stretching, in the groaning, in the spinning. You are good and You do good.

5 comments:

Margo said...

Thanks for the encouragement and reminder of how awesome and trustworthy our heavenly Father is and how He desire our complete reliance upon Him. Your prayer is beautiful. Father, give Jen strength to rely and trust You and to ultimately grow in You through this difficult time. May she consider it pure joy knowing that the testing of her faith produces perseverance so that she will be mature and complete in You (James 1). Amen

kuliejellogg said...

I am praying for you and look forward to the testimony of His faithfulness.

abigailk said...

your thoughts and heart are beautiful. i am praying for yall and i can't wait to hear of the Lord's faithfulness. i love you!

J.L. said...

HI sweet Jen - great post. Thanks for visiting me the other day - come back anytime. Thanks also for the key - I totally forgot about it!

Talk to you soon - Blessings to you and Chris!

Tracy and Adam said...

Hi Jennifer, I wish we could hang out and chat. I hope your trusting is going well. For me, it's something to let go of every day, lots of times each day. Life is hard! Your endurance is a testimony. :-)